loonyblog.

Beyond Unreal is the first out of the gate with an April Fool’s gag…presumably it’s April Fool’s wherever that site is located.

Alas, I won’t be doing one this year. I had some ideas, but decided they either broke the rules or came too close to it, so I dropped those. And while I would like to have released a new version of IF Quake, it’s just not ready yet (I have done some work on E1M2 though, and it’s great).

Then again, maybe this is my April Fool’s gag, and I really do have one coming. I wouldn’t put it past myself. I’m really sneaky that way. Muahahahahahah.

No seriously. I don’t have one this year. Really.

There’s a story on Science Daily about how BioWare, purveyor of fine RPGs, hired a PhD candidate to craft languages for their upcoming titles Jade Empire and Dragon Age. I’m a big fan of this, and wish more companies would consider doing so.

If you need proof of how much this adds to the RPG experience, look no further than BioWare’s own Knights of the Old Republic (the first one — I haven’t tried the second one yet). KOTOR was a great, great game, one of my favorite in recent memory. But the alien “languages” were pure gibberish, and it showed. Well, it really showed because they would repeat the same strings of gibberish no matter what the characters were saying. I heard that stupid Twi’lek chatter so many times I can recite it from memory. (I don’t, if only because that would identify me as being the biggest dork who ever lived).

I’m not saying every game needs a dictionary…this really only applies to RPGs and dialogue-heavy adventure games. But when a developer puts in the time (and no doubt extreme costs) of getting a real, or at least, somewhat real-sounding language, it adds immeasurably to the experience. Panzer Dragoon did it (an English-to-Panzer dictionary, however brief, does indeed exist) and it made a big difference in developing the game world. And that, as they say in Panzer, abo es ec vertus.

GameInformer: 10TACLE picks up rights to Oktoberfest.

Beyonce Knowles to play Bob Dylan.

I don’t understand. I don’t want to understand.

When I first heard about this story on IGN questioning whether or not the PSP has had a lukewarm launch, I had high hopes that those stupid console bundles that all the major retailers force people into buying had finally backfired. But no, that doesn’t seem to be the case. A quick survey on IGN’s forums (see here and here) shows pretty conclusively that the major gaming retailers have managed to unload their PSP shipments despite the irritating bundles. It seems that if you want a PSP, the place to get one is in more mainstream stores, like Wal-Mart or Target, provided you’re somewhere in middle America, and not on one of the coasts.

I hate (read: hate) bundles. I never considered buying a PSP because I don’t have the money (hey, we just bought an apartment!), but even if I did have the money, I wouldn’t have been able to get one because of those damn bundles. Amazon’s the worst offender here. If you want a PSP from Amazon, you have to buy the system (naturally), but also NBA, Gretzkey NHL, Twisted Metal, Ape Escape and Wipeout Pure. Total price? $450. At least those are all games (even if there’s only one I would actually ever want to play). The cheapest bundle at EB forces you to buy the system, Lumines, Untold Legends, Twisted Metal and the “Pro Gamer’s Kit”, that includes a ton of crap (including extra headphones on top of the ones Sony already gives you with the console) most people don’t want. Oh, and “cheapest” is still expensive at just under $400.

If you want one and your local retailers are all out, my advice is to go to eBay. A quick check over there shows most of them available for slight markups, but there are some that are around retail price. Just be careful! Make sure you’re getting the US version (assuming that’s what you want), and that you’re getting the complete contents of the “Value Pack” if you’re paying full price. I spotted a couple of nasty people selling just the console, minus the Spider-Man 2 UMD and memory stick (those people are probably selling them in separate auctions).

Considering how successful (apparently) these stupid bundles have been, chances are that this same thing will be repeated again and again for each new console launch. I think it’s a damn shame. The next time a console comes out that I want at launch, I’m pre-ordering in-store someplace where there isn’t a minimum purchase requirement. I was forced to do bundles for my PS2 and Xbox (one required me to get Tekken Tag Tournament, the other Star Wars: Obi Wan — both sucked big time), and I ain’t doing it again.

According to FOX News, Paul Schrader’s version of The Exorcist: The Beginning will actually be released. This has got to be the strangest Hollywood saga since the infamous Battle of Brazil, which saw Terry Gilliam fight tooth and nail against Universal Pictures for control (and eventual release) of his movie. But this one’s even stranger, because an entirely different version of the movie, with a different director and some (but not all!) of the same cast was made. Here’s FOX News’ quickie recap, for those not familiar with the story:

[Paul] Schrader was hired by Morgan Creek Productions in 2002 to make a prequel to “The Exorcist.” His movie featured respected actor Stellan Skarsgård and had lots of buzz. But when Morgan Creek’s owner, James Robinson, saw that it was a cerebral thriller that lacked spewing vomit and rotating heads, he killed the movie.
Enter Renny Harlin, the hack director and ex-husband of Geena Davis .

For another $35 million, Harlin completely re-shot the movie, tossing in as many “Exorcist”-like clichés as possible. Some of the cast, including Skarsgård, reprised their roles. The film was mostly panned by critics, made $40 million domestically, about the same internationally, and finally broke even.

Last week, however, Schrader took a gamble. He showed his version at the Brussels Fantasy Film Festival. He and the cast all showed up — on their own dime, since no studio now identifies itself with the movie.The bet worked. Critics wrote admiring reviews. Variety, in particular, sang Schrader’s praises: “Schrader’s intelligent, quietly subversive pic emphasizes spiritual agony over horror ecstasy, while paying occasional lip service to the need for scares … Schrader has delivered a 100 percent Paul Schrader film, drenched in the spiritual and moral angst that’s watermarked his career.”

And now the film is expected to be released in the next couple of months…crazy. I might actually go see this movie (or at least rent it) just to see what all the hubbub is about. But there’s another question this raises…in the event that someone decides to make a sequel (and let’s face it, at some point in the next 20 years, someone will), which version will be considered canonical?

The Lemarchand PC.

Yahoo! News – British Prankster Smuggles Art Into Top NY Museums.

One piece was on the walls for three days before anyone noticed. Brilliant.

Solar Death Ray. Brilliant (although seeing a copy of Tetris from 1987 burn is a bit of a shame).

Friendster: The Movie.

I weep for humanity.