According to Sci Fi Wire, the WB has cast the lead in their upcoming Aquaman series. That’s right, they’ve cast the lead in the Aquaman series. The lucky actor is Will Toale, who is not (thankfully) the same actor who portrayed Arthur Curry (“AC”) in a recent groan-worthy episode of Smallville (that himbo was Alan Ritchson). Naturally, the question arises…why the heck is this series being made? I realize that Aquaman has his fans, but jeez…you gotta wonder why. One of the (many) incredible accomplishments of Cartoon Network’s Justice League show is how cool they’ve managed to make Aquaman…but at the end of the day, he’s still a pretty goofy character, and he really doesn’t lend himself well to a postmodern reinvention like Smallville.


Of all the characters in the DC universe, the only other one that legitimately works like Smallville does (which isn’t perfect, but has its own internal logic) is Bruce Wayne. It’s too bad that idea got canned when Batman Begins took off. That could have been quite cool. But really, who else is there? A teenage Wonder Woman? Maybe Green Lantern, but even that requires too much sci-fi to really work. Swamp Thing? Booster Gold? The Question? Let’s face it, there’s just not a whole lot to work with.


Now Marvel, much as I dislike the overall universe, has a bit more to work with. Several of these are directly because of Stan Lee’s tendency to create tortured characters. See Spider-Man, the Thing (or the overall Fantastic Four, for that matter), X-Men, the Hulk, etc. Of course, Marvel’s merchandising over the last few years has resulted in a just about all of them winding up in one project or another. I mean, when Mort The Dead Teenager is considered for a movie, can Devil Dinosaur be far behind?


In the end of course, there’s crap everywhere. Marvel, DC, television…it’s just everywhere you look. But I just can’t get past the fact that someone thought Aquaman was a good idea. I mean, it’s freaking Aquaman! At least Birds of Prey was a decent idea on paper (and a decent comic at one point, too), even if the execution was completely off from day one.


Sigh.


The funny thing? You know I’m gonna watch it. How can I not? I mean, if I could sit through three whole episodes of Birds of Prey, I can sit through anything.